And as nice as MSN is to me, I probably need to get myself on board a proper blog site to deal with all the hell that comes in on a daily basis.

 

In the meantime, since I am a wonderful story teller, I give you the news of the past few months in a rather disorganized mesh of consciousness.

 

At some point in my contract with BC Hydro, all hell broke loose and I slowly went to destroy any hopes of continuing to work there.  My ability to network had gone so horribly wrong that I ended up getting in trouble for networking.  On top of that I had a bright idea from my supervisor that I should pee on the floor.  Why pee on the floor?  I guess that's just the way things are done at Outreach.  I was told we'd get blamed for it whether we did or not.  Why?  Because BC Hydro Outreach staff are the "face of BC Hydro" but not really much more than that.

 

So jump forward and I'm looking for work and trying to focus on a definitive career path.  It's very hard to do so when I really just know what I don't want to do.  Maybe the process of elimination is the slow way of going about doing things.  Why not write random shit on an internet blog?

 

Anyway, I have to practise my interviewing skills very wel.  I admit that I haven't been the most successful at it because I am not reviewing my typical interview questions and I'm not even having an answer for "Why do you want to work here?"  "What is your ideal day?"  "What animal would you be?"

So why do I want to work here?

 

 

What would be my ideal day?

 

 

What animal would I be?  What the fuck do you mean?  What animal would I be? 

 

 

 

I thought I had become pretty good with anger management in my life, but lately, I've just been set off by all sorts of stupid things that have no logical connection.  I just fly off the handle and go nuts.  I try to calm myself down, but i am finding it harder to do so.  back when I was in Japan, I don't think I ever had a problem dealing with things.  Maybe back here in canada, i feel pressured.  what kind of pressure?  I'm not even sure.  I feel trapped and it's all so damned permanent here at home.  When I know something is fleeting, I can take the time to really enjoy it because I know it won't last long.  I want to build my life here.  life is short, but to build whatever i want, I have to make some permanent sacrifices.  I can't be going around doing what I want anymore because it won't get me what I want in the future.  This fucking bullshit do stupid things now so you can relax in the future really sucks.

 

maybe the root of all of this is just having to live at home anymore.  I feel babied and at the same time, uncared for.  babied because I don't have to pay blls, deal with food or shelter.  I feel uncared for because it means nothing to me.  My parents can't miss me anymore because i'm not around.  They can't be worried because i am always home.  I AM ALWAYS HOME.  I want to go away for a weekend.  I think I need to take off and do something else.  Maybe a week.  I need to leave this country again so I can see why it's so great.  Maybe I just need to leave home.  Hurry up tammy, some days, I really miss the freedom of being on my own.  Maybe I should just stop whining and do it.  Forget waiting.  i can't afford it, but I can't afford to live with all this nonsense.  In January, I might have to rent out a place if I have a steadier job.  Fuck.

 

I wanted to kill Chubbs just to get back at my parents.  Poor chubbs.  he's okay, but even the fact that it crossed my mind to kill a pet just to show off some emotion or concern is making me crazy.  Why would I do that to a poor bird?

 

FUCK

 

So I've been busy trying to do weird things with my life and this September, a whole bunch of new things is going on.  I rarely write about it now but I guess I should inform anyone who still reads this journal what's been going on.

 

Well, I have a new job.  It's a temporary position, but I hope it gets me somewhere.  I'm working as a Power Smart Representative for BC Hydro.  I've finally found work that pays equivalent to what I was making in Japan.  I guess it only took me 6 months or so.  THat's not a bad start I guess.

 

Along with that, I went off and bought some new underwear.  The complaint from my new girlfriend (well, she's not that new, we're approaching our 5 months now, but in a time scale of a human life, it's new) was that my underwear was holey and needed some mending or buying of new ones.  So I did that.  i went off to buy new underwear and I'm glad.  More comfortable and lack of holes.

 

I'm writing this on a new computer as well.  My other computer, I've had since about 2000 so I guess this is considered upgrading.  Skipping generations by leaps and bounds.  I'm probably going to do pretty much the same thing on this one as the last one with maybe the addition of using photoshop to make my pictures look nice.  First off, I'll need to get my portable harddrive running.  I need a mac.  I need someone with a mac since I was too stupid to format the drive, which seems to like to be detected by macs.

 

Oh yes, the new girlfriend.  I'm in love.  She's more than I would expect and crazier than I am.  She's my balance though.  Without her, I'd be floating off into space.  She's a bit of an anchor, but I like that.  I need to be focused anyway.  She can do that.  She gets a lot of that, while I'm there to help her see what life is like without having to stress out, plan and go too fast to take in the scenery.  Balance.  Yin and yang, dark and light.  I guess I'm a bit darker, oh well.

 

I think that's about it in terms of "new".  I am happy to admit that this is more than I expected, but I guess I am working towards something.  I feel lazy next to her, but she feels like she's working too hard next to me.  We'll work it out. 

 

Sorry for making you emotional, Tammy. 

I am in pain, aching, dull pain from the surgery on my wisdom teeth.  This is a rare treat for my body because I haven't had alcohol in about 3 months which means my body craves some kind of chemical to give it a funny boost.  Unfortunately, I feel quite sober even though I had some aenathesia however you spell that and I was knocked out and said "Tiger" before hand.  I dreamt about tigers and woke up with the cute nurse calling me cute and telling me she's married with children.  Oh well, it's it's a big loss.  I am happy with my tammeroony.  Or something like that.  Watch as it extends beyond comprehension. 

So so so in the microphone. 

Alakazam and the broken toes! 

Sitting in a tree 

Takin' a pee

Forgettin' all the words to my pretty lil song

Dancing on the rainbow sill,

eatin' some slog

 

Fire fire fire fire

I gotta eat my ants.

Five years later, and I'm lost without pants.

 

Fire fire fire fire

I gotta jump ship.

Five years later, and I'm eating artichoke dip.

 

So so so in the microphone.

One plus two equals ninety seven

Eighty nine cakes are calling me out

Beat them to a pulp

feed 'em to the ducks.

 

Fire fire fire fire

I gotta take my meds.

Five years later, and I'm still in my bed.

 

Fire fire fire fire

Princesses are cute.

Five year later, I'm inside her poop chute.

 

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

 

When the rain comes down

it washes it all out.

when the rain comes down

it washes it all out.

 

Like it.  live it.  Sense the danger now. 

Four more seasons and we've got a year.

 

once I ate some bugs.  They wer good bugs and I licked them up through the cracks of my polydigital manual apparatus attached to the bendable limb of my body.  That is to say, I didn't enjoy the bugs.  When the one time I did lick some bug juice off my own crotch, I really was making fun of the fact that it's impossible to do.  Kids like cupcakes anyway.  Well, what do you know?  Sometimes they grow up and have a blast with their drugs.  Today I get to experience that.  I realize that I'm not more or less crazy with what I write whether I'm high or not.  But the twang of pain that I just felt means I've stretched my ability to write for the day. 

I am bored and I can't sleep because I ate something today that made my stomach restless, resulting in an over-eager set of bowels ready to strike out a skunk ravaged by a curious dog.  On top of that, there's nothing much more to say.  I am lazy.
 I also realize I may post this once again on either facebook or my msn spaces. I believe I will do both.

Such as being bored, I want to get into a trance and write.  But I have no music that would put me in a trance, nor do I have sufficiently lack of sleep or unlack of drugs to get me there.  So I must rely solely on my own sober dissasslutions (wtf, i don't know what I'm trying to say) of grandeur to help me win out some fancy, entertaining tipbit about my life, my dreams, or the giant elephant sitting outside my bedroom windows. 

Now elephants are big to begin with but a imagine a giant one of those giant landwalkers.  An elephant so large that it would make a blue whale feel inadequate with his stature in the mammalian scale of superior largeness.  In fact, this elephant, being imaginary, would win any practical and real fight for size against a truly living, breathing big, blue, beautiful whale.  BBBBBBzzzz goes the bee.

After five minutes of typing on my sister's laptop, resting on my naked crotch, I believe I will have to put an end to the more obscure nuissances of my writing and get to the meat and potatoes of it all.

Recall Daniel's slab of meat (those of you from MSN Spaces will not know this, nor will FB'ers unless they've read my previous posts ).  daniel's kobe beef was getting raunchy due to the nature of decomposition.  Ha ha, ho ho.  Good riddens to that piece of flesh that caused him so much trouble.  Also, recall that his last trip through the beef and radiator actually sent him to beijing (I regret to inform you that I am making a lot of BS up as I write).  Daniel is in fact sitting in the cookoo bird's lap staring at the five monkeys doing the jive on the dance floor of marshall law.

A green sea bass floats away in the wind.  Sky fish!!!

At five ten PM a bird vessels and out jumped a man who was clearly failing at impersonating a woman and said, by geez golly green boogers in your bowels!  what has happened to this bedroom?

I need to finx is says my friend.  No larger than the elphant. My ego deflated by wiping pooh off a strange child.

Go with that.  I am sleeping as i typ things.  Spelling mistakes to revive fully funchtional drug induced drugs.  don't smoke dope crack.

It burns!!!!!!
 

I am lazy.  I should be writing here instead of my facebook page.  But FB has taken over MSN blogs because it works so well.  I have a few important things to do, one of them is to get a copy of Office 2003 or so so I can write my little plots and plans for the take over of the world.  Also to speed up my computer.  That is all I really have to say.

 

I'm also in love, but that's a given.  I'm always in love with something.  This time, I'm in love with someone.  Wohoo and hurray.  Muah muah.  I can't wait to take you on a real adventure.  A knight and his dragon.  We have to go find some treasure and be stinking rich.  Horseshoes and compaseses.  What is it that you truly want? 

On my way to work last night, I biked into a field of flowers.  It was really warm so I decided to tumble in the heap of delicious joy and sensual sensations of the scented shoots.  It was then I realized that I was stuck in a small ruin of somewhat Mayan in nature.
I walked ahead and discovered a giant gate with the carving of a phoenix.  There was a glyph on the side and I touched it and found the phoenix coming alive.  It spewed out a three-tailed minotaur and I ran.
When I got back on my bike, heading towards downtown, I suddenly realized that I probably should go back and make sure the minotaur isn't going to go attack any more people.  So I stopped off at the local blacksmith on Commercial Drive and bought myself a small sword.  I figured that swords would kill a beast like a minotaur since they were around before guns which necessarily means that guns cannot harm mythological creatures.
I also took some time to go to a Church and have the sword blessed.  Better yet, this was a Greek Orthodox Church.

As I headed towards the field of flowers on Adanac, I happened to find a small satyr that wanted to dance.  I told him that I needed to kill a minotaur and he decided to follow up.  It's nice to have a bowsman for the journey, I suppose.

When we approached the field and ruins, we found the phoenix back in its carving and the minotaur to be no where in site.  I touched the glyph again and once again, the phoenix rose from its carving and spewed out the minotaur.

With a quick couple of strikes, I had the creature down for the count.  No more worrying about people being slaughtered by this mythological creature.  I lopped off the three tails as a request from the Satyr.  Apparently, minotaur tails are rare.

When the gate opened up, I thought I should've gone straight to work and left the minotaur roaming free.  I had told my boss why I might be late, however, he didn't want to talk too much about minotaurs.  I walked into the ruins.

Inside was as plain as it wasn't outside.  There were not special carvings or glyphs or anything that could tell me why this was here in the middle of Vancouver.  So I walked out of the ruins and then decided to walk in again.  I did this seven times.

On the seventh try, the ruins opened up at the bottom and I discovered a treasury.  Most of it was gold too heavy to lift so I couldn't really steal anything.  instead, I walked outside, called my boss to tell him I am going to quit my job, and called a bunch of friends who needed to make money fast to come get me.  And bring a van or two.  Maybe some ancient weapons with enchantments.  (Believe me, living in Vancouver, it's hard to find enchanted weapons.  So I told them to get their weapons blessed in a Church if they could.)

Upon arrival, my friends greeted me with great many assortment of weapons.  Only three of them actually showed up.  The Satyr was still there so it was a Party of Five.  Not the best number, but an ax/mace wielder, two swordsman, and two archers seem to fit the bill nicely.  There is no need for magic as we were just looting from a random Mayan ruin in East Vancouver.

So we walked back and forth from the entrance seven times and again, the doors opened from the ground and we walked into an entirely different chamber.  This one contained things we could not move.

It was a stadium of artifacts.  Mainly an ancient mythological creature zoo.  The animals didn't have a problem moving about either.  The entire Zodiac was residing in some far corner.  Castor and Pollux trying to balance each other out, Taurus having a good fight with Cancer.  And in the centre stood a creature that I couldn't really describe, but the glyphs said danger all over them.  We tried to stay away as much as possible from that cage.

Unfortunately, the Satyr decided to set off some ancient alarm and all the cages opened and a sea of people erupted from the seats and started to cheer.  The creature in the centre gate opened and started to run around, ready to charge at us.  We were surrounded by lions and tigers and all things that should belong to fairy tales.  The Satyr joined the party of baddies as well.

I jumped up into the air, higher than I really thought possible and threw my sword down on a lion, killing it instantly.  Then the sky split open and Leo disappeared from the Zodiac.  I didn't think that it was a good idea to try to kill these things after all.

My friends spent a lot of time defending and yelling at me for lying.  I promised gold and treasure.  Instead, they were stuck fighting for their lives and trying hard not to destroy the Zodiac.

Then the big thing came up and knocked me up into the air and charged at me in the sky.  I didn't have my sword so I just started to run around in circles in the stadium and I threw people at the beast.

Somehow I woke up and realized I had to see my doctor for some examinations.  And then I realized it wasn't real.

And then I got a phone call from SFU saying I have a lunch meeting tomorrow.  And then the secretary asked me a few questions and realized I wasn't the right person even though the name, phone number, and other personal information was the same.  I should've just gone for a free lunch.

People stare.

For those of you who forgot that I existed, I decided to write a little bit about my last month back here in Canada.Whatever I've been doing here in Canada, I haven't been doing it enough nor doing it right.  I think I just realized that "Closing Dates" do not mean that the applications can stop coming in after that date, but that the job needs to be filled by that date.  Having realized this newfound insight, I should probably get my shit together and actually apply to jobs WAY before their deadlines.  Now knowing this, I hope that the jobs I've applied for early on are going to give me some good results. I can pretty much write off all the past applications since I applied on the Deadline date.  If I am mistaken about this, someone please let me know.  Otherwise, I'll just have to sit around more and wonder about my strategy.  I've looked for work before.  There must be something missing in my application process that I need to go over.  I wonder what those things hould be.

 

I've done a lot of random things that probably will destroy my life further this month as well.  I seem to have this urge to completely destroy things and start all over.  I might have too many loose ends, or my sister says, "Just stop. You know it's not working. Do it right."

 

I left Canada to travel to find myself, only to realize that I actually lost myself on that trip.  Now coming home to Canada, I really do have to find myself.  I lost what I found interesting in life.  I lost the will to survive.  I learned the deeper meaning of "GAMBATTE" but I haven't actually put it into any use.  No more, I gotta move up.  No more time to have fun.  I've done enough of that. I just had my birthday too. Maybe it's time to really be an adult for once.  If things don't go my way, it's my fault.  I gotta tell myself that.  No more fancy 80s music parties.  No more kareoke.  okay, if people wanna sing with me, we can do that.  But I gotta act mature.  Otherwise I'm just an overgrown 5 year old. 

 

My dreams need to stop being so immature as well.  I will dream about taxes tonight.

 

Ugh, coming back to Canada pretty much just means I have to spend my time dealing with taxes, medical plans, money, everything. It's such a big hassle. I liked it when people didn't talk about money and I didn't have to worry about it. What's with people worrying about money and success=money all the time? I guess it's good to have goals. I'm pretty unambitious so my goals are to do what I want to do. Too bad I can't even figure that one out. Oh well, time to grow up a bit.

 

Well, that means I get to put away my selfish behaviour yet again and head on home.  Vancouver sounds like it's going downhill.  Why is this happening to my hometown? Is it evolution? Into what? Why take a nice place like Vancouver, which was ready to head towards a plane of paradise on Earth without having to go to Heaven turn into crap?  I guess that's just the way things are. Maybe even Heaven got tired of being good. But they probably have a better way of weeding out undesirables. Oh well, that's not why vancouver sucks. Vancouver is still a great place to be, but to hear the local kids say it isn't, well, they need to get out of their circles of drugs.

 

China isn't so bad. I see a few ladies jogging on the street by the side of the road.  Hmmm, be home soon.

 

it appears I've been hit with food poisoning while in china yet again.  Yeehaw...I feel like crap.  Time to get off the net and shoot water out of my ass (I have done this over 20 times in the last 24 hours...I am severely dehydrated)

 

I went all over China.  I'm too lazy to write much so here are excerpts from emails...

 

Yesterday we met some of my aunt's family and we got a lot of red packets of money. So far, I've collected about 1300 RMB worth of lucky money (about 20000 yen), which is not much, but it's packets of 10-20 RMB each, so you can see how many packets I have! One contained 300RMB, so it doesn't count for much. I bought some groceries for our HK trip today and it came out to be about 14 RMB which is about $2.50 CDN. I bought a lot of stuff! Eating here in Guangzhou is unbeatable for price and taste. Americans must love it here! IT's just greasy food all day long and endangered animals and weird animal parts being eaten. I told you I saw some crocodile meat, right? It was really juicy looking. Anyway, to try to bring the paragraph back in order, today, I went to a shopping district of Shang-xia Jiu Lu (the Kanji is pretty easy: UP, DOWN, NINE, ROAD. So it's Kanji you should even know!) Anyway, a lot of foreigners were there and my mom was shopping crazy and so my sister and I waited for a long time outside shops and the sewers stank and there were so many people (think Nagoya Station times 10 for people and times 1 for area). I got bored so I stood outside the shop and started to do the robot dance, pausing every once in a while and my sister pretended to give me some money (I gave her some spare change) and I got a crowd gathered around me. A lot of people asked me if I was a real human being. Some people said I was a foreigner from the West because I didn't look Chinese and the foreigners said, "Hey look! There's some weird dude doing the robot! Sweet!" I wasn't very good because I kept cracking up and couldn't keep a straight face, especially with the gathering crowds. My sister was laughing a lot so forgot about the smell and the people. That's all that was important. I did it next to a guy in a chicken suit blowing a weird musical instrument and he got mad at me because people kept staring at me instead of him. My sister took a picture with a counterfeit Minnie Mouse guy in a suit thingy.  BTW, I now wish to perform the robot in random locations around China. Maybe I will make it a photo essay.

 

I will do it badly.

 

Also, kids attacked me yesterday and eat my ears.

 

 

Yesterday I met my extended family from my aunt's side of the family. There were 23 new faces that I met and quickly forgot because I had no way of finding out who they are. I don't know if I'll ever meet them again either, but I guess they are family.  The kids went all insane on me and started to play weird games with my mind and body.  I got 17 pockets of money so I'm a little weirded out by that experience.  We were going to go to the zoo today but it's raining.  Sometimes it's better to chill out, I guess.

 

I went to Dianxia and Shaquai (???) the last two days to see my ancestors.  It was pretty cool.  By ancestors and their land, I mean the area where they are from and the area where at least one of them had a dynasty. This is pretty ridiculous since I went to see the Chan Clan Academy and there are so many Chan (chen, etc) in the world, there's not much point in saying they are related very much. So I don'tknow of the Liang/Leung Dynasty's ruling area really is ancestrial.

 

However, the view from the Dianxia mountain and crazy penis rock formation and vagina rock cave makes for interesting look as well as the China Sex Musuem, celebrating 5000 years of culture and sex in China's long history. There are Korean words written everywhere so I assume Koreans also enjoy 5000 year old sex rituals. I didn't get to go into the Sex Museum, but the front has a woman riding a giant phallus.  However, the Penis Rock (or Vigour Rock, Man Stone, and various other names) was really big. It's a 28metre rock formation in the middle of the valley.  The diameter is 7metres. A guy on the tour commented that he didn't need to take a picture of the rock because he had something similar in his pants. A woman commented that he could not compare. Chinese women also think bigger is better.  Most of China feels the same.  Americans?  Nah, probably just different than Japanese.  Chinese women will skip the size issue if you have money. Hmmm...very American. I only say that because there are lots of short ugly guys here with really tall, beautiful women. The guys look rich.  The regular looking guys get ugly girls and good looking guys (like me) are stuck taking care of their mothers who have forgotten what it's like to travel.

 

Anyway, after the penis rock, we stayed in a hotspring resort and had a small villa to ourselves. It was real nice except when they refused to let my sister go into the pool with swimming trunks because girls had to have something more revealing on. My sister was forced to take off her swim trunks and go with her swimming other clothes, the bottom parts I do not know.  Meanwhile a guy went in with his underwear.

In Japan you wouldn't have this problem because everyone is naked.

 

Naked is good.

 

The next day, we went to see a monestary that was built 1500 years ago by the Liang Emperor. There were 400 monks in training there. A lot of people prayed to buddha, not realizing you don't need to pray to him because he can only observe and give answers that you already know. Oh well, they pray for selfish reasons, like everyone. Then they fight and kill and murder. Religion, when organized, is just a killing machine.

 

I ate a vegetarian lunch and looked at some medicinal fungus and drank some.  I liked a mushroom and nothing happened. My mother smacked me in the head. Also, some people from Beijing got really upset everyone in Guangdong was speaking Cantonese, which happens to be the dialect of the area.  I got yelled at by this old lady who also yelled at a nice old lady who travelled all over the world. It was because the nice lady was telling me about her travels. She is having a good retirement, I think. Also, travel makes you nicer because you see the world. 

 

Anyway, I got to chillax and take a bath.  My philosophy isn't complete without the sex part.  Vancouver, I'm hungry. :)

 

Ah, I am still sick as an old man here in Guangzhou and I still managed to do a bunch of random things.  This week started off pretty relaxing.  I went to see my Aunt again and we hung out, went to this area where Dr. Sun Yat Sen has a memorial built for him in the middle of the city.  I went to the park where my dad used to play (it's a man made park and it's 100s of years old so the trees are pretty old). I don't kow the name of the park very well, but it's to honour the 5 goats and the 5 maidens from heaven who brought food to South China, thus making us a rich area of chinese cuisine.  It's pretty interesting I guess.

 

Then I went to this 5 star hotel about 2 hours away from Guangzhou City in Haizhou City (I think) to climb Mt. Laofu (Laofushan) which is the #34 place of spirits to gather in China.  I think ie's in the top 3 for beautiful mountains.  It was a pretty nice mountain of 1300m, but we never got that far up cuz of 70 year old ladies and 3 year old kids.  Most adults were in their 40s and 50s.  My sister and I were the youngest.

The hotel was pretty nice.  A lot of people were Hakka people so they had a weird dialect, but I could pick it up faster than Mandarin.  Maybe I'll just start my way up to Beijing and get there language eventually.  Besides, Mandarin isn't even a Beijing dialect, from what my relatives tell me.

 

Also, my nephew (? I gues?) finally warmed up to me and now won't leave my side.  I guess it's better than him telling me I'm not even the same kind of species as him.  He's 5 and likes animals.  Oh wow, so do I!  I talked to him about dinosaurs.

Anyway, I'm sick.  I wish I wasn't.

 

pictures on my flickr account.

So the last few days, I've been pretty down due to my stomach acting like achild being taken off breast milk.  I'm not entirely sure what went down, but I believe the fatty foods and the frying of absolutely everything is the cause of that.  This is why McDonald's is incredibly popular here, I guess.  In Beijing Road today, I saw two Mac'rs a few metres from each other, equivalent to Vancouver's famous starbucks corner on Robson and Thurlow. (google earth it)  I guess Cantonese people really like their greasy foods.  And KFCs are everywhere too. 

 

Healthy does not exist in this part of the country and I really hope that when I'm allowed to leave this part of China, I get to see the other people.  Maybe in the north, people are better.  I have this feeling that the southern Chinese are similar to southern Americans, except that in America, most of that is stereotype, but here, it seems to be true.  Everyone is struck dumb by paranoia from daily news reports of muggings and robberies.  Where old ladies lose all their belongings because some kids decided to "help" the old carry heavy bags up a flight of stairs.  The thing to do here is to avoid help and never bother asking for me.  If they seem kind, they are probably from the North, cuz the northerns are the ones who are causing the breakdown of society (according to my relatives).  Why? I asked.  My paranoia is getting just as strong.  "Do you know that the best way to control people is with fear?" Well, mother says, "So what? How else do you get 1.3 billion people to listen?" I guess I have to agree that if you tell people the streets are constantly being watched by thieves, who will stab you for the equivalent of $1 Canadian and then jump into traffic to commit ritual suicide like a japanese business man, then I guess fear is good.

 

When I walk around these streets and around the place where I was born, I wonder what really happened here in China.  My mother said that China was never a rich country.  What about all those stories of the great dynasties and heroics?  "Oh, they existed all right.  Even Shaolin Kung Fu exists now, but we were never rich." But what about happiness? "Oh, we were happy then. We didn't know that the West was taking over the world and we didn't care. Our emperor knows it all." I'm very confused...

 

Anyway, my stomach developed some kind of trouble, my mom got scared of pricing to Beijing and maybe our entire trip will be called off.  Why?  My mom has learned to never trust a single person on this planet.  How she managed to fly back to China after 27 years and decide to hide inside my uncle's house is a mystery to me.  The commies really did a number on her.  She told me today that they sent her at 16 to work on the farms where the food she grew was given to the commie generals to distribute to the people, where she made no money doing the work that she did because it was for the good of society and good of her own health to keep fit.  They kept her doing work like that for 8 years.  For 8 fucking years of my mother's youth, the commies took that away from her and made her do nothing.  It turned her into a frightened middle aged woman.  She is afraid to even learn English, even though she's been Canadian for the past 20 years.  She has no friends because she thinks people wll just come and take away thigs she values. 

 

This story, she never told me.  Now she has.  Now this kind of thing is happening to some 16 year old girl in North Korea.  F'em, let's blow that dickhead president kim jong il out of the sky.  No one should have their freedom taken away like that.

 

The first impressions I have of China...

 

1. I was not late for boarding. However, they assumed I was.  Japanese were like, "No need to rush, got 20 minutes" but Chinese were like "Why the hell didn't you run?" Hmmm....

 

2. 3 Car accidents in plain view 40 minutes into the country.

 

3. Homeless guy grabbing my shirt. I only had yen.

 

4. Excellent food.

 

5. Family fueds.

 

6. Yellow sky, pollution.

 

7. Noisy nights.

 

8. 10 million people.

 

9. Excited and fun.

 

What are my goals here?  I don't know why I'm here.  Maybe to see the place where I was born.

 

This will probably be my last entry in my stay in Japan.  I`ve had a lot of fun.  I enjoyed myself.  Time to move on.  China, are you ready?