For those of you who forgot that I existed, I decided to write a little bit about my last month back here in Canada.Whatever I've been doing here in Canada, I haven't been doing it enough nor doing it right.  I think I just realized that "Closing Dates" do not mean that the applications can stop coming in after that date, but that the job needs to be filled by that date.  Having realized this newfound insight, I should probably get my shit together and actually apply to jobs WAY before their deadlines.  Now knowing this, I hope that the jobs I've applied for early on are going to give me some good results. I can pretty much write off all the past applications since I applied on the Deadline date.  If I am mistaken about this, someone please let me know.  Otherwise, I'll just have to sit around more and wonder about my strategy.  I've looked for work before.  There must be something missing in my application process that I need to go over.  I wonder what those things hould be.

 

I've done a lot of random things that probably will destroy my life further this month as well.  I seem to have this urge to completely destroy things and start all over.  I might have too many loose ends, or my sister says, "Just stop. You know it's not working. Do it right."

 

I left Canada to travel to find myself, only to realize that I actually lost myself on that trip.  Now coming home to Canada, I really do have to find myself.  I lost what I found interesting in life.  I lost the will to survive.  I learned the deeper meaning of "GAMBATTE" but I haven't actually put it into any use.  No more, I gotta move up.  No more time to have fun.  I've done enough of that. I just had my birthday too. Maybe it's time to really be an adult for once.  If things don't go my way, it's my fault.  I gotta tell myself that.  No more fancy 80s music parties.  No more kareoke.  okay, if people wanna sing with me, we can do that.  But I gotta act mature.  Otherwise I'm just an overgrown 5 year old. 

 

My dreams need to stop being so immature as well.  I will dream about taxes tonight.