Are great.  I am glad for this comfort while I surf the net.  I decided that I will just surf the net today.  If there is anything to report, I can`t really say.  Pretty boring, I guess.

 

surfing the net is weird...I guess this video is meaningless in Japan...white guys are few and only strange women seem to go for them...

 

actually, I have no clue...The hotter Japanese girls are still with Japanese guys...I am invisible...but I thought it was funny...I wonder if this is still the case

 

 

 

Japanese people make fun of nerds a lot here.  And fat people.  If you are a fat nerd, you are pretty much screwed.  If you`re a skinny nerd, you may escape notice because you`ll look like everyone else.  From time to time, the TV shows fat people or nerds being humiliating on TV.  Sometimes it`s just porn stars that get messed with.  Or whatever these women are who are shown in skimpy outfits and things like that.  Ah well...

 

I am still sick.  My kids are doing better and the younger ones seem to be okay with me.  The older ones are indifferent.  I think the hours and hours of work probably mess them up.  I wonder why.

 

I have  speakers in my room now so I can relax a little.  mY apartment is taking the shape of an actual house and eventually I`ll have no use for looking at anything else.  I am slowly settling into my life here and I can almost accept all that Japan has to offer.  I can read a bit more Japanese than usual now as well so that`s a big help.  I like my Japanese class and I am starting to have a good group of people I can spend some time with.  I guess from timet o time,it still gets lonely, but I know where to find entertainment.  I gotta go watch a movie soon, break down, get pissed or something.  I don`t drink as much which is a good sign.  Still, getting trashed once a month can`t be bad, can it?  I guess I never thought of doing that in Canada before though.  I still want to buy eggs for $1 a dozen and throw them at people.

 

My plan to lock up bikes and sneak pictures of people in fury are still something I want to think about.

or so people say here in Japan since I keep on getting free things.  But it`s not my fault that I received chocolates on Valentine`s Day nor is it my fault that I can free dinners in restuarants or have people cook for me.

 

Cook for me?  Yes, I have met some people who took me around the prefecture and then they took me to their house and cooked me some soup or something like that.  It was a Korean-Japanese-Chinese fushion thing and it was delicious.  There was at least one other guy there so you guys shut up about me spending all my time with women while in Japan.

 

Also I have some insights that I wrote in other emails that I will share now because I am too lazy to type.

 

Crap, I lost those emails already.  But generally speaking, I went to the hospital and learned that nurses have different jobs than doctors and the nurses and nurses all have to stand and look at you when the doctor is working or they have to lift up your shirt when he checks your breathing because I cannot lift my own shirt up just in case I hurt myself.

 

But then I am thinking the nurses were all looking at me because I was a foreigner.

 

Also, I realized to be harmonious with my workplace, I should just act like a japanese person and swear to my supervisor/boss as His Holiness, all powerful, all knowing and whenever I am confused about the work I am doing or get upset, it`s because I have a weak mind and I am not powerful like he is.  I haven`t been around long enough to reach the status of demi-god and therefore, I should just bow humbly and accept His Allmighty Wisdom.  That is the way things are done here.

 

Individuality gets constantly stuffed into a box.  Individuals in Japan are dangerous.  They are radicals and can cause others to feel like they need to express themselves.  It`s hypocracy.  I have to teach the children to express themselves.  I see them one hour a month to try to undo years of mental bullying and group mentality thoughts.  It is not possible.  It is impossible.  These children will end up being Japanese and wasting their parents time and money.  I am a crook.  I am the devil in the flesh.

Thanks for all the encouraging comments that have poured in to help me get over myself.  To let you know how it helped let me say this.

 

Yesterday I decided to ride my bike to work and it was a crystal clear, warm sunny day.  Perfect for riding my bike and when I got to work, I felt revived and made the best of the day.  I planned 2 hours straight for games and activities.  I knew I had to work especially hard because the students were hard to teach before.  So I went off and made brilliant pieces of artwork for some quick games.  The kids participated in all the games and learned a lot of new English, and I`m happy for that.

 

When I rode home, I was too tired to cook so I ended up hestitantly walking around my neighbourhood looking for a place to eat.  I finally settled for this one place that always seems extremely busy and rowdy so I entered (I found out later that most people need reservations for this place, it`s one of the most popular places in Okayama).  It was a small little place that served a lot of strange foods.  I think it was okonomiyaki but I could be wrong.  I ate some things that had squid in it and I had to try to tell the owners to feed me something that I`m not allergic too (they kept insisting I try some of their crustaceans and I`m allergic to most).  I ate something that was like a pancake but instead of batter, it was a layer of salad (cole slaw?) with some pork strips i nthe centre that was cooked on top of more cole slaw and then topped with some chives, I think, and some mayonaise.  It was delicious.  I needed some beer so I ordered a beer and was given a beer and an oolong tea.  Then to finish the big meal, I had some Japanese soup/stew thing that had radishes, strips of squid?, some tomatoes and lots of green onions and then maybe some more salmon.  I also had a few oysters.

 

In the end, I paid nothing for my meal because I graduated with a minor in Free Stuff.  So I guess when things are good, things are good.

 

I also slept with an incredibly nightmarish dream.  I was flying in a plane, then riding in a car, or something like that.  I was in Surrey or some part of the highway to Surrey.  It wasn`t really Surrey, of course, but my highways in my dreams always go to Surrey.  So I was on the highway towards Surrey when a semi in front of us jack knifes into a coach loaded with tourists!  There was mayhem all around and the last thing I remembered was a shard of tire flying towards the windshield.

 

When I came to, the driver of the semi walks out completely uninjured and the same for the driver of the coach.  In fact, about 20 cars were involved in the accident without a single serious injury.  Mostly people were scratched and bruised but in good shape.  The semi driver explained later that his brakes had be cut but some evil and he used the bus to stop the impact of the smaller cars.  He actually radioed the bus driver about doing this and everyone in the bus had already braced for impact, sheltered themselves in the most amazing way to avoid all pains and ended up safe!

 

As I got into my car again, it sped off into the sky, and suddenly I became aware that I was afraid of flying in a convertable car.  So I shrieked and fell onto the wing of an airplane where I suddenly remembered that I had a grudge against Don because he pissed Ray off and Don materialized on the airplane wing and we fought.  It was a tough fight, but we both ended up falling off towards our death.

 

But here was the catch!  I fell and fell but I ended up landing in a bed with my wife and mistress.  Both women were not really that attractive but they were quite exotic in their appearance (they could be from any part of the world, they looked like all humans) and I enjoyed the resto f my dream.

 

 

When I woke up, I went to work and had a row with my supervisor.  I hate that fucking ass hat.

Oh yes, it`s finally hit and it`s hitting me hard.  I finally realised why was being so moody and it`s simply because I miss the comforts that home, Vancouver, Canada had provided.  I no longer have a healthy dose of mountain air, friendly conversation, or simply laughing.  It is lonely when you move to a new place, unable to speak the language and thus, unable to make friends.  It is especially difficult for those of us who are invisible minorities.  The people here are friendly enough and I can`t say they are at all bad, but maybe it is my own fear of being unable to communicate with them that drives me farther back into my cave.  I can`t hide forever because it is turning me into a miserably moody person.  Also, it has caused me to be physically sick as well.  2 months without proper exercise can do that to a person, I suppose.  But now that I`ve realized what is happening to me, I can only suck it up and try to recover and be even more determined to make friends.  I suppose I have a somewhat random group of individuals that I see from time to time, but without regularities, my life is in disarray.  I can`t even tell if I`m using the correct vocabulary for what I`m describing.

 

This week I plan to buy some furniture and maybe a stereo or DVD player so I can enjoy some comforts in my home.  Right now, my house is freezing cold and I just had a suddenly realization that I might have left the heat on.  My electricity bill this month came out to $61 or equivalent.  Yikes.  Oh well, I have cash to burn...

 

 

 

Right now of all the wishes I could have, I hope that my supervisor gets replaced by someone more competent.  Not only does he not remember the names of his underlings, he forgets the concerns we address to him (I had to pay a taxi bill of $80 the other day and it pretty much destroyed my ability to have fun - I have a coupon to this internet cafe so today is free).  He also did not remind me of a schedule change in my timetable so I had to rush to the school today, again shelling out money for the taxi (which could`ve went towards food).  I was so upset today that I actually swore out loud on the train.  because if I am late for my class, I can be fired for it.  Today, I almost got fired because of his inability to tell me the correct information about which school I`m supposed tob e teaching in.  In chinese, I suppose I said, something like `say hack gwai lo...sic see ah lay...moe gwai yong geh...gum dai tew gai bay lay pk do joe mm doe..` or I like the literal translation of `dead black guy, eat sh*t, you`re useless, I give you a big street to pk and you can`t even do that...` it`s too bad no one understood me.  But this is the second time he`s done this to me.  He keeps blaming his superiors, but it`s not their job to watch my schedule, it`s his job.

So yes, a new supervisor, perferably a woman.  There are no women English speakers in my team so it`s a little frustrating to have all this testosterone in the team.  I can`t work with these people.  They are almost all incompetent.  One guy on my team has lived in Japan for 11 years and can`t understand any Japanese at all.  There is another guy who is Japanese, but he doesn`t do anything except visit his grandmother on his time off.  Grrrr...

 

 

What else can I say about the people I work with? I can give you their nicknames.

 

My supervisor is Imcompetence.

The Japanese guy is `Jaded Japanese guy`

The 11 years of Japan guy is `Super Cop` b/c his goatee and leather jacket and tight jeans just scream it out.

There is one girl in the group I`ve met and her name is `Girl with too much Make Up` or `Make up Girl` (She`s Chinese-new zealander but from what I can tell, she`s the same as all the Japanese girls here who wear make up like it`s oxygen...they are hideous.  Japanese girls are hot?  who said that?

 

Then there`s Steven.  Steven is cool so he has a name.

 

I did end up meeting a Filipino guy during my japanese lessons and he`s a really cool guy.  He`s into biking and photography and he`s doing his Masters at the Uni of Okayama in geochemistry so I get together with him and talk shop.  His name is Tom.  Tom Tam.  His grandfather was Chinese and grandmother was Spanish.  Cool cat.

 

Also, one day, I went to a bar and there, I was introduced (not really, he just kind of jumped into the bar, told a story and left) to a `vancouverite` but I suspect he is from Surrey or some other suburb.  His story was about how proud he was for getting into a bar fight in another bar and ripping some guy`s eye out. the other guy was also Canadian.  When he asked who I was, I said I was from Okinawa and grew up in the military base there.  He makes Canada look bad.  watch out for him!