I believe I am slowly going insane...here are some examples:

 

NUMBER 1

because I`m messed up tonight...here`s another one...

I had a dream about meeting some Russians from Matador who worked in a shoe shop here in town.  When I asked for a pair of Adidas, I didn`t know it was a secret code word for "hit me with a baseball bat" in russian.  So I was hit a few times and knocked unconscious.  When i awoke I was tied to a chair and gagged.  A russian man told me to shut up about Adidas and whacked me with sone nunchucks...nunchuckooosss!  Za...

Anyway, when I woke the second time, I was in a daze.  I looked down to see my chest cavity has been exposed to reveal my beating heart.  Glad for the lack of pain, I smiled and looked to my left where I saw a series of medical instruments.  I smiled again.  Then the Russian came up to me a with a scapel and slowly skinned my face off...

I gather from my dream that I can no longer buy Adidas...

NUMBER 2

Oct. 21, 2006

i was quite a bit drunk beyond control. i feel messed up because i
spent 8 hours in a bar but only 4 hours working yesterday. now which is
my real job?
anyway i woke up early to meet that japanese woman in kurashiki (aka
hot cougar/japanese teacher). i spent my time today art gallery hopping
drinking coffee and acting like a posh artsy tool. but she is beautiful
and ten years my senior. ha what a strange day. i think i had a good
day though. also i walked under a god and met ogres. and i almost threw
up at some mexican toys. on top of that the woman wondered what it'd be
like to have sex with a garden hose. i think when i'm sober my
conversations are many times worse than when i'm drunk. probably cuz i
can't talk. ah well now i go home to play mind games with an evil
korean witch (aka yujin) .
what a day.

 

NUMBER 3

It happened today, but how clearly messed up can only be summed up as this: to those who care about me, I`ve made a huge error in judgment...I`m probably not the same person you think I am anymore.  I don`t know who i am anymore...am I the guy who dreamed about having my face skinned?  am I the guy who really reached Nirvana with Homer Simpson when I was 15 years old?  Probably not.  Somewhere along the way, Nirvana was lost.  I suppose death is only the true release to Nirvana...I can`t reach it here...I`ll be still be around...but nonetheless, I am slowly, quietly going insane...I wish I understood why...

 

Beauty comes from within...and from within, I have destroyed my beauty...Japan is still a nice place to live and I`m having the time of my hedonistic life...

 

BTW, this internet cafe has all you can eat soft serve ice cream and smoothies...hedonistic ja na....

 

NUMBER 4

Recently I`ve gone off to make a list in order of degrees I feel about a particular sin of the 7 deadly sins...I`d say this is about my usual daily dose of sin: (this was thoroughly tested and measured with a complicated method of scientific measurement called "eyeballing"):

 

1. Pride

2. Envy

3. Lust

4. Greed

5. Gluttony

6. Wrath

7. Vengence

 

On some days there is almost no wrath or vengence but I`m almost always an egoist...

 

 

I went out again for another weekend of drunken chaos, as is it is the thing to do for Foreigners in Japan, but now I really feel it.  I think I`ve got to stop this.  I know I say it everytime it happens so really, I`m just kidding myself.  But I have to stay that I was much better this time around than usual, because I didn`t drink nearly as much, but the problem isn`t the drinking, but really, just the weird sleeping patterns, smokey kareoke rooms and lack of Japanese that I`m speaking.  Pretty much, the more I speak and read the language and practice, the better I feel.  I`m enjoying my time with Japanese people, but I guess it`s nice to speak English from time to time too...

 

Ah well, that`s all I have to say about that.  Nothing else has been happening with me.  I`ll be done in 3 months so I worry about only looking forward to leaving and getting back to Canada where I`ll be useless for a few weeks while I take in reverse culture shock.  You guys back home will be completely rude and obnoxious...at least until I become that way too...