David's profileSilent but deadlyPhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
Silent but deadlyMy name is Robert Paulsen January 11 It's about time I updated this blogAnd as nice as MSN is to me, I probably need to get myself on board a proper blog site to deal with all the hell that comes in on a daily basis.
In the meantime, since I am a wonderful story teller, I give you the news of the past few months in a rather disorganized mesh of consciousness.
At some point in my contract with BC Hydro, all hell broke loose and I slowly went to destroy any hopes of continuing to work there. My ability to network had gone so horribly wrong that I ended up getting in trouble for networking. On top of that I had a bright idea from my supervisor that I should pee on the floor. Why pee on the floor? I guess that's just the way things are done at Outreach. I was told we'd get blamed for it whether we did or not. Why? Because BC Hydro Outreach staff are the "face of BC Hydro" but not really much more than that.
So jump forward and I'm looking for work and trying to focus on a definitive career path. It's very hard to do so when I really just know what I don't want to do. Maybe the process of elimination is the slow way of going about doing things. Why not write random shit on an internet blog?
Anyway, I have to practise my interviewing skills very wel. I admit that I haven't been the most successful at it because I am not reviewing my typical interview questions and I'm not even having an answer for "Why do you want to work here?" "What is your ideal day?" "What animal would you be?"
So why do I want to work here?
Well, I looked at the job description and it looked like something I could do. Do I have a passion for brushing teeth? Not really. Do I a vocational need to sell coffee? Well, I enjoy some aspects of the job, but the majority of the time, I know the work will be mundane and uninteresting. However, the benefit to that is I get money. That money I can use to buy things like food and clothing. It'll help me out with a place to live. Money is a means to an end and your company happens to be a right fit enough that I don't want to stab myself every time I come in to work. I don't find your company's work displeasurable neither do I find it pleasurable. It is a satisfying absence of feeling that implores me to work with you.
What would be my ideal day?
You, the boss, would tell me what to do and let me do it. Don't fuck around and tell me I'm doing it differently than you. As long as it's working and the job's getting done, STFU. I could care less how you did it when you were in my position. You hired me because I already had the skills and what skills I lacked, you thoroughly brainwashed new skills into me during the week long training program taught by HR personel who have no background in teaching but have spent a lot of time developing something that would appear to be engaging and educational. Thank you for being in HR instead of being teachers.
Back to the question, my ideal is one where I never talk to you or see your face so you don't know what I'm doing and I don't know what you're doing. Do not come into my office space and tell me how busy you are. If you are truly busy, you wouldn't have time to tell me so. I've got a lot of facebooking and solitaire to catch up on and I would rather you leave me alone to do that. I am sure you also have a lot of time wasting to do.
My ideal day is to come in to work whenever I feel like, finish what I have to do for the day and go home. If it takes me 4 hours to finish, I'm going home. If it takes me 10 hours, so be it. Give me the flexibility to desgin my own day and you'll see a productive employee.
What animal would I be? What the fuck do you mean? What animal would I be?
"If I was an animal, I would be Malaria, not the mosquito that carries it but plasmodium itself. Then I would have been responsible for killing more people throughout history than the combined efforts of all the wars and all other diseases. I look at it as a challenge to myself to be the best that I can be. It also shows how adaptable I am. I'm always one step ahead of the game. Even in the face of irradication with DDT, I am triumphant. I work well as a team with my mosquito counterparts to destroy humanity. My greatest weakness is my inability to stop destruction.Now that my font has changed colours, I will continue with more mandatory interview questions.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Doing your job so I can sit around and be lazy too.
Ah, I'll update this when I'm not lazy myself with more interview questions. October 21 please workTammy spent the night at my place last night I am afraid of WWIII happening at her house right now. From the way things look, she could be at war for a long, long time. I need to vent something out but I don't know what it is. Just a few nights ago, I was ballistic on my own wall because I was pissed off at my parents. Frustration of living at home, but there's no way the pain I feel is anywhere or frustraion, I should say, is any where near as bad as hers. On top of that, the downer of a person I know who decided to tell everyone she's got cancer, so bad that they can't do chemo or surgery to remove it. Why? IT's in her spine. And another girl has cancer there in the same location. Wrapped around and around so you can't even get rid of it. This thing called cancer sucks. Did you know that it was called cancer because in the old days, when it broke through the skin, it short of looked like a crab, so that's how cancer got its name. one of the first forms of cancer is from the chimney sweeps. Calling it soot warts, a lot of boys would get cancer from sweeping chimneys and having the soot build up in their bodies, espeically around tissues like their scrotum. Doctors cut it off. Before chemo. Before pain killers. efore scalpels. Poor boys. Where have all the poor boys gone?
So in other news, the my job is going great. I was somehow lucky enough to be invited to another high profile event, which means that someone up there believes we're capable of doing our job, whatever that is. That's good news, I guess. I bought a new pink shirt. I've very proud of it. It's a sexy colour. One day, someone will see it and say I'm hot.
Now I don't know what else to say. Last night I had a dream about video games. I played them a lot and people enjoyed it. Other than that, I can't remember more of the dream. I want to watch a movie. I want to travel elsewhere. What can I really do?
I am writing now for the sake of writing. There is nothing interesting in this entry. I won't say anything more. I believe that religion is being destroyed. Buthered and turned into something that it's not. It''s been going on for 20000 years, but what can you do? Buddhist who are chinese are the worst. What does buddhism and china have to do with each other? A religion that preaches the ending of suffering and simplifying your life and Chinese people will walk over anyone to get money and power and successul, whatever that means. I need to meet people who don't put money as their top priority, but enjoying life to be top. Is it so hard to find Chinese people who are like that? Maybe not Chinese, but asians in general? Asian guys are like that much worse than the women. Maybe its' because asian guys are still expected to earn all the bread whil ethe women just have buns in the oen? Maybe asian men need to do it to getthe girls that are after fun and security. Asian women are the best but sometimes, they are so hard to deal with. Very hard to deal with. It's 11pm. I don't really need to sleep, but I think I will.
This stupid blog entry was a waste of internet space. October 20 Anger managementI thought I had become pretty good with anger management in my life, but lately, I've just been set off by all sorts of stupid things that have no logical connection. I just fly off the handle and go nuts. I try to calm myself down, but i am finding it harder to do so. back when I was in Japan, I don't think I ever had a problem dealing with things. Maybe back here in canada, i feel pressured. what kind of pressure? I'm not even sure. I feel trapped and it's all so damned permanent here at home. When I know something is fleeting, I can take the time to really enjoy it because I know it won't last long. I want to build my life here. life is short, but to build whatever i want, I have to make some permanent sacrifices. I can't be going around doing what I want anymore because it won't get me what I want in the future. This fucking bullshit do stupid things now so you can relax in the future really sucks.
maybe the root of all of this is just having to live at home anymore. I feel babied and at the same time, uncared for. babied because I don't have to pay blls, deal with food or shelter. I feel uncared for because it means nothing to me. My parents can't miss me anymore because i'm not around. They can't be worried because i am always home. I AM ALWAYS HOME. I want to go away for a weekend. I think I need to take off and do something else. Maybe a week. I need to leave this country again so I can see why it's so great. Maybe I just need to leave home. Hurry up tammy, some days, I really miss the freedom of being on my own. Maybe I should just stop whining and do it. Forget waiting. i can't afford it, but I can't afford to live with all this nonsense. In January, I might have to rent out a place if I have a steadier job. Fuck.
I wanted to kill Chubbs just to get back at my parents. Poor chubbs. he's okay, but even the fact that it crossed my mind to kill a pet just to show off some emotion or concern is making me crazy. Why would I do that to a poor bird?
FUCK
September 08 New EverythingSo I've been busy trying to do weird things with my life and this September, a whole bunch of new things is going on. I rarely write about it now but I guess I should inform anyone who still reads this journal what's been going on.
Well, I have a new job. It's a temporary position, but I hope it gets me somewhere. I'm working as a Power Smart Representative for BC Hydro. I've finally found work that pays equivalent to what I was making in Japan. I guess it only took me 6 months or so. THat's not a bad start I guess.
Along with that, I went off and bought some new underwear. The complaint from my new girlfriend (well, she's not that new, we're approaching our 5 months now, but in a time scale of a human life, it's new) was that my underwear was holey and needed some mending or buying of new ones. So I did that. i went off to buy new underwear and I'm glad. More comfortable and lack of holes.
I'm writing this on a new computer as well. My other computer, I've had since about 2000 so I guess this is considered upgrading. Skipping generations by leaps and bounds. I'm probably going to do pretty much the same thing on this one as the last one with maybe the addition of using photoshop to make my pictures look nice. First off, I'll need to get my portable harddrive running. I need a mac. I need someone with a mac since I was too stupid to format the drive, which seems to like to be detected by macs.
Oh yes, the new girlfriend. I'm in love. She's more than I would expect and crazier than I am. She's my balance though. Without her, I'd be floating off into space. She's a bit of an anchor, but I like that. I need to be focused anyway. She can do that. She gets a lot of that, while I'm there to help her see what life is like without having to stress out, plan and go too fast to take in the scenery. Balance. Yin and yang, dark and light. I guess I'm a bit darker, oh well.
I think that's about it in terms of "new". I am happy to admit that this is more than I expected, but I guess I am working towards something. I feel lazy next to her, but she feels like she's working too hard next to me. We'll work it out.
Sorry for making you emotional, Tammy. August 03 Dental surgery, routine and drugs are funI am in pain, aching, dull pain from the surgery on my wisdom teeth. This is a rare treat for my body because I haven't had alcohol in about 3 months which means my body craves some kind of chemical to give it a funny boost. Unfortunately, I feel quite sober even though I had some aenathesia however you spell that and I was knocked out and said "Tiger" before hand. I dreamt about tigers and woke up with the cute nurse calling me cute and telling me she's married with children. Oh well, it's it's a big loss. I am happy with my tammeroony. Or something like that. Watch as it extends beyond comprehension.
So so so in the microphone.
Alakazam and the broken toes!
Sitting in a tree
Takin' a pee
Forgettin' all the words to my pretty lil song
Dancing on the rainbow sill,
eatin' some slog
Fire fire fire fire
I gotta eat my ants.
Five years later, and I'm lost without pants.
Fire fire fire fire
I gotta jump ship.
Five years later, and I'm eating artichoke dip.
So so so in the microphone.
One plus two equals ninety seven
Eighty nine cakes are calling me out
Beat them to a pulp
feed 'em to the ducks.
Fire fire fire fire
I gotta take my meds.
Five years later, and I'm still in my bed.
Fire fire fire fire
Princesses are cute.
Five year later, I'm inside her poop chute.
Fire!
Fire!
Fire!
Fire!
When the rain comes down
it washes it all out.
when the rain comes down
it washes it all out.
Like it. live it. Sense the danger now.
Four more seasons and we've got a year.
once I ate some bugs. They wer good bugs and I licked them up through the cracks of my polydigital manual apparatus attached to the bendable limb of my body. That is to say, I didn't enjoy the bugs. When the one time I did lick some bug juice off my own crotch, I really was making fun of the fact that it's impossible to do. Kids like cupcakes anyway. Well, what do you know? Sometimes they grow up and have a blast with their drugs. Today I get to experience that. I realize that I'm not more or less crazy with what I write whether I'm high or not. But the twang of pain that I just felt means I've stretched my ability to write for the day. July 24 david and his deathly bowelsI am bored and I can't sleep because I ate something today that made my stomach restless, resulting in an over-eager set of bowels ready to strike out a skunk ravaged by a curious dog. On top of that, there's nothing much more to say. I am lazy. I also realize I may post this once again on either facebook or my msn spaces. I believe I will do both. Such as being bored, I want to get into a trance and write. But I have no music that would put me in a trance, nor do I have sufficiently lack of sleep or unlack of drugs to get me there. So I must rely solely on my own sober dissasslutions (wtf, i don't know what I'm trying to say) of grandeur to help me win out some fancy, entertaining tipbit about my life, my dreams, or the giant elephant sitting outside my bedroom windows.
Now elephants are big to begin with but a imagine a giant one of those giant landwalkers. An elephant so large that it would make a blue whale feel inadequate with his stature in the mammalian scale of superior largeness. In fact, this elephant, being imaginary, would win any practical and real fight for size against a truly living, breathing big, blue, beautiful whale. BBBBBBzzzz goes the bee.
After five minutes of typing on my sister's laptop, resting on my naked crotch, I believe I will have to put an end to the more obscure nuissances of my writing and get to the meat and potatoes of it all.
Recall Daniel's slab of meat (those of you from MSN Spaces will not know this, nor will FB'ers unless they've read my previous posts ). daniel's kobe beef was getting raunchy due to the nature of decomposition. Ha ha, ho ho. Good riddens to that piece of flesh that caused him so much trouble. Also, recall that his last trip through the beef and radiator actually sent him to beijing (I regret to inform you that I am making a lot of BS up as I write). Daniel is in fact sitting in the cookoo bird's lap staring at the five monkeys doing the jive on the dance floor of marshall law.
A green sea bass floats away in the wind. Sky fish!!!
At five ten PM a bird vessels and out jumped a man who was clearly failing at impersonating a woman and said, by geez golly green boogers in your bowels! what has happened to this bedroom?
I need to finx is says my friend. No larger than the elphant. My ego deflated by wiping pooh off a strange child.
Go with that. I am sleeping as i typ things. Spelling mistakes to revive fully funchtional drug induced drugs. don't smoke dope crack.
It burns!!!!!! July 19 Title (required):I am lazy. I should be writing here instead of my facebook page. But FB has taken over MSN blogs because it works so well. I have a few important things to do, one of them is to get a copy of Office 2003 or so so I can write my little plots and plans for the take over of the world. Also to speed up my computer. That is all I really have to say.
I'm also in love, but that's a given. I'm always in love with something. This time, I'm in love with someone. Wohoo and hurray. Muah muah. I can't wait to take you on a real adventure. A knight and his dragon. We have to go find some treasure and be stinking rich. Horseshoes and compaseses. What is it that you truly want? |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Send a private message
Subscribe to RSS feed
Tell a friend
Add to My MSN
Add to your network
Sign up for alerts
|
|
